...Where Is My Head? ...Where is My Heart? [entries|friends|calendar] gunsxroses [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[22 May 2006|06:40pm] Fuck that shit im back in black nigga im reviving this whole live journal shit one ganster at a time... Donkey Punch A Hoe

[06 Dec 2005|12:53pm] [ mood | calm ] Oxycotton is heaven inside a pill... enough said Donkey Punch A Hoe

"pssssshhhhh" [25 Nov 2005|12:11pm] [ mood | cranky ] Hm its been quite some time since ive written, some new things some not so new things Im moving out on the 9th of Dec. Me Jeremy Brad and Jessica got an appartment in escondido... Its really nice and really big and rents not to bad... Im excited and scared at the same time... Were gonna have a house warming party so im sure most of you will be invited... Working has been well working, no free time my shifts have been licking cat ass hole... so i sleep wake up go to work, go to jeremys and sleep some more... Ive been staying at Jeremys for the past three weeks becasue my house is chaos... Hav my room is already packed up... I hang out with Patrick alot lately i called in sick tweo days last week and went and hung out with him... Me and Jeremy are really good, i really love him, Hes the best boyfriend i could ever ask for and im happy hes in my life... without him id probably be in hell right now... I just bought my own computer so in a couple weeks i wont have to deal with this slow piece of shit anymore... woop Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Ill cry if i want to" [07 Oct 2005|12:29pm] [ mood | chipper ] Im 18 now bitches woop woop Went to F street got some cool stuff, went to the strip club, went to Barona ... my birthday was disapointing considering none of my friends really came... o well doesnt matter that much i guess, just proves a point... BON FIRE TONIGHT FOR MY BIRTHDAY LA JOLLA SHORES BE THERE... BRING WOOD... BRING BOOZE... Jeremy got me a white gold ring for my birthday its really pretty... i cried They cut my hours at work those mother fuckers... 2 Broken Jaws| Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Go on girl get your body wet" [05 Oct 2005|01:22pm] [ mood | anxious ] Things have been great... All around... good things... Ive been dating Jeremy for the past 3 weeks, Ive spent every single day with him... Its kindda werid and differant but also kindda cute... Were officaly going out now... i really like him... people keep telling me i can do better but i dont care... i dont want better... Hes sweet and takes me out... most the time we sit at his aparment with his room mates cuddling and watching movies, we talk alot and hes one of those guys who arnt scared to say exactly how they feel, hes striaght up which i like, actually were so fucking much alike... plus all my friends like him... and all his friends like me... so yea thats my love life... Been going to work and going out... same old same old... went out with Krysta Matt and Patrick to Balboa park to drink sparks... Went to the the haunted trail and Haunted hotel... went to the beach a few times... drove around alot... haha i forget most of the shit i do... but i havent got much sleep lately... TOMORROW IS MY 18TH BIRTHDAY So if you want to come celebrate with me give me a call on my cell 619 890 4803 2 Broken Jaws| Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Run again circles" [22 Sep 2005|01:34pm] [ mood | bouncy ] Its been two weeks since my last update... i hate the fact that i really dont have time to update in this anymore... Alot has happend in the last two weeks lets see... I graduated my drug classes... woop woop my name is cleared and i dont get drug tested anymore... Steff and Simon smoked me out for the first time in like 5 monthes it was too awesome for words... Work is chill as fuck i really like my job... Well its more like i love the people i work with, i love Denise shes chill as fuck weve been chilling out side of work alot and smoking bud... getting high as fuck... Been chilling with Patrick alot more... he comes and sees me now... I broke down to him the other night and started crying about my life and he was really supportive... hes the only person i can cry to and not feel weak i dont know why... Im really happy that we have rekindled our friendship... He was one of the only people that can make me truely happy... Went out with Dez Marrisa and christina chilled at the beach and shit... i dont know i cant remeber alot of what i do hahaha I envy everyone on Laguna beach those bastards... PICTURE TIME Sand Niggers ( Cut off here ) 3 Broken Jaws| Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Windmill Windmill" [08 Sep 2005|12:44am] [ mood | pensive ] My minds racing... i cant sleep, ive been trying to for the last three hours... I cant stop thinking, i guess a re-occuring aderal addiction will do that to you... I feel like my lifes in shambles, like gods putting me through some sick trial to see if im worthy to be on earth... The fact that i graduated high school is now finally hitting me... Im a big girl now, no more fun and games... Working in a fucking wal-mart 40 hours a week is really starting to wear on me... Plus the fact that the money i get is still not enough to support myself...Sometimes i want to burn my dipolma, wake up early, and sit inside a Mt.Carmel classroom with Paul again and have no worries besides the math homework thats due tomorrow, that i most likely wont do... Ill have almost three grand in my pocket tomorrow to buy a car... lucky me? My 18th birthday is in exactly one month... 29 days, sounds more like me spending my nights in Barona wasting my money on slots searching for the American dream... sick and twistied Where are all my friends? I used to have so many... I feel lonely and forgotten... Friends i thought id grow old with have betrayed me, My best friends have forgotten me, My closest friends are junkies, and the ones i have now most of the time i cant stand to be around... Boo hoo for me, i think i just need to get out... Tomorrow is my day off.. Plus its pay day, ill have free time and money to blow... Maybe ill take a bike ride at mission trails ive been wanting to do that... yea i think ill do that... Donkey Punch A Hoe

"I Only Hear What I Want To" [01 Sep 2005|12:39pm] [ mood | drained ] Wow its been a while since ive updated... Ive been working alot, which is nice becasue the money is nice, Marc found a lover Joshua ands hes a complete sweetheart, Been going out alot having long nights With Jessica and all the PQ heads, Steff had a little kick back which was cool, spending as much free time as i can with my friends and family... Nothing too new... Its werid not going back to high school, trips me out... i actually graduated... Well i have to go back to some sort of school next semester... God only knows what ill end up doing... THATS MY DOG THOSE ARE MY PANTIES FUCKING SICKO 1 Broken Jaw| Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Free My Soul" [22 Aug 2005|04:18pm] [ mood | angry ] I cant help but hang my head low right now... I work my ass off every day and it seems like theres not enough money in the world to help me out i feel lost and hopelesss... Ive always been a very humble person, money and expensive shit is never what ive needed or dreamd of needing... All i ever wanted was enought to get by... But now im lost... So my dream of being able to go to Paul Mitchell is shatterd... I cant go... Im signing up for city collage next semester... Sometimes i wish money would fly out from the sky... I hate being poor, i hate coming from a poor family... I hate having a rich day who wouldnt spare one penny to help me out... I guess im kind of depressed over it... But i try and look up... City collage will be ok... People in my life suck only a hand full i trust... My friends most the time betray me... I have this ability to chase people away from me and clear a room... Me and Brad had a falling out... I will never talk to him again for the rest of my life... I went as far as deleting his number out of my phone... FUCK... I wish someone understood this shit... ... I guess what i mean is i wish i had someone to go through it with me... On a good note... Ill have enough money next week to put a down payment on a car... YAY 2 Broken Jaws| Donkey Punch A Hoe

" Bang Bang I Shoot You Down Bang Bang" [13 Aug 2005|11:10am] [ mood | sleepy ] Sometimes i wish i was 8 again... Work is chill the people i work with are chill... Getting my pay check on thursday was even chiller... Buying a car is gonna be chill... Home is chill... Late nights are chill... I got my cell phone yesterday... 619-890-4803 new number Been creeping late night with all the PQ heads... I love that my frineds care enough to drive there asses down here pick me up and bring me home every night... Thats love... Hooked up with Cory haha it was funny... We all went down to TJ the other night i got too crunked to handle... Slava is my fucking new drinking buddy were the best crunked together... I love Marc more than any boy on this planet... Last night we let a spare tire roll down hilltop... It was insane it went like 100 mph was bouncing all around the sidewalks back into the street and so on... at the end of the hill it bounced 30 feet into the air off the curb flew over a fence through some bushes and into some people pool... It was sick bra... Tried to retrive the tire... But me and Brad walked into a spider web and freaked out taking our clothes off and running around in the street trying to get the fucking huge spiders off of us screaming like little bitches... Then flooring the turbo 110 in a residential area when the neighbors came out... A cop followd me and Loren from Lorens house in PQ to the 125 south it was creepy... Fucking Rowe 2 Broken Jaws| Donkey Punch A Hoe

"The More $ We Come Across The More Problems We See" [04 Aug 2005|12:15pm] [ mood | dorky ] I work at Wal-Mart in grossmont center from 1pm-9pm except for mondays and thrusdays EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE... Come visit me sometime... Working alot sucks but im gonna be bling blingin in the MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY $$$MONEY$$$ Um went out with Dez the other night... Met James the great, hes sexy and their sexy together... Other things happend... will not speak of them... all i got to say is, good and big... Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Rock In Roll High School" [01 Aug 2005|12:30pm] [ mood | awake ] Things have been really good, I like my new job its pretty chill... Been going out alot, been hanging out with the family alot its nice to REALLY feel like part of a family again... Im offically broke i spent the rest of my money, haha Hmm lets see what i have been doing... Hanging out with Brad and Jessica when i can... The other night me and Jessica went gambling at Barona and then watched Brad race his car at the barona race tracks and it was pretty sweet, We played craps but lost of course, meh i think we did good for first timers... We flirted with the guy at the craps table and he hooked us up with a coupon for 2 free buffets and it was the dankest food ever... Gambled till 2 in the morning... Me and Krysta hung out at Lastats the other night that was fun met some werid asian kids... Im in love with the guy that works there every time i walk in... sigh Krystas birthday party was fun as fuck i had a really good time... Been hanging out with Steff and Simon alot again which is sweet becasue i love those two... They had a little kick back the other day which was sweet, Steffs mom is fucking comedy... Last night me and Jessica went and saw Devils rejects meh it was ok... Picture time guys... ok theres some old ass pics in here from before grauation and stuff haha... ( Rock The Casbah ) 1 Broken Jaw| Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Riot On The Radio" [22 Jul 2005|06:53pm] [ mood | amused ] I moved in with my Mom last week its been really nice... My room is pimp and its nice to be with my little brother and sister that i adore more than anyone in the world... Marc came down and visited me and we did shrooms and layed in the shade at lake murray park...hehe Then Dez came and visited us and we drove around all night being crazy... Been hanging out with Lynz its cool cause she lives down the street and sahe was my best frihnd all through middle school and frosh year... Me, lynz, naveed, alajandra, Greg, and Alexis mall went to Lastats the other night and we "artsey" together it was fun lynz makes me laugh... Went to the mall with Andrea and Steff it was fun chillin with them... I love my Steffi... Yesterday me and Dez went and got our first tattoos together... Woop for underage tattoos... we got friendship tats and our twinsies... i give full credit top dez they were her design... It i expected it to hurt a lot more... Only took me a couple days to find a new job... I got a job at wal-Mart (white trash i know) but i get to work in cosmetics so its not so bad, dont get paid as much hourly as my other job but o well its pretty sick... Looks of pics to show but to lazy to post them hahaha Donkey Punch A Hoe

"OLAY OLAY OLAY OLAY" [12 Jul 2005|04:02pm] [ mood | bored ] Lets see what is there to update im most likely moving back into my moms house this weekend WOOP WOOP.. im kindda excited its just gonna be werid... I didnt take the job at Applebee's becasue i knew i was moving... I cant stand not having my own home anymore i mean i like living with Jessica buts its so fucking far from everything out here in Esco i get bored becasue none of my friends live out here... Hung out with Dez this week and spent the night at her hosue we chilled and went to this gay party in PQ got in a fight with these dumb ass hoes... Got kicked out of the party... fuck those bitches that went to my school i hate them... LAMEXCOREXWANNABESS The night after that me and Dez met up with Chony PD Marc MAtt Julie Katie Billie at the park by matts it was nice like old times... then Shon and Dom and Nate came and met up with us... nice drunkenezz... I hang out with Brad and Jessica 24-7 it seems like i need a change... Dusty is a fuck head Donkey Punch A Hoe

[08 Jul 2005|04:34pm] [ mood | pensive ] Windmill, Windmill for the land. Learn forever hand in hand Take it all in on your stride It is sticking, falling down Love forever love is free Let?s turn forever you and me Windmill, windmill for the land Is everybody in? Donkey Punch A Hoe

[07 Jul 2005|04:20pm] [ mood | bouncy ] Um whats new with me... Same old shit, Still living at Jessicas... Its pretty nice... I feel bad though, like im putting them out, they dont act like it and her mom treats me like her own kid, i dont know i wish i could just go home FUCKING DAD... I had a job interview at applebees todays, i have another one tomorrow morning... Good shit... I gotta quit the job i have right now, not enough money not enough hours... I got $400 dollars saved in the bank so i should have a car very soon if i get this job... SWEET... Then i gotta save up to get my own place... yadda yadda yadda... I hate growing up its a bitch, i wish i was more prepared... Me and jessica went and lookd at some apartments in esco. there nice and cheap so it would be sweet to the maximum... This weekend i went over to my moms house it was nice jsut relaxing with my little borther and sister my mom and step dad work alot... 4th of July was kindda gay... Ate dank mexican food at jessicas Nana's then went to Lake Murray and met up with my stoned ass mom and her friends... saw a few people i used to go to school with it was a trip... After that we drove to ramona and i saw Dusty before he left for Texas for a few weeks... were back together... i know im stupid... I just hate being alone and you get used to being with someone... AHHHH... i hate being this way... I miss alot of my friends i rarely get to see some of you... Dez, Steff, Krysta... I wish the summer could be normal but its not so BLAH I hung out with Patrick Marc Matt and Benny the other day it was a nice change... went to grossmont center and dicked around... i wish everyone wasnt depressed... 2 Broken Jaws| Donkey Punch A Hoe

[04 Jul 2005|03:25pm] [ mood | weird ] Every aspect of my life sucks right now... I dont feel like doing anything... fuck 4th of july Donkey Punch A Hoe

The Eagles "Hotel California" [01 Jul 2005|04:43pm] [ mood | blank ] On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim I had to stop for the night There she stood in the doorway; I heard the mission bell And I was thinking to myself, 'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell' Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say... Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place Such a lovely face Plenty of room at the Hotel California Any time of year, you can find it here Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat. Some dance to remember, some dance to forget So I called up the Captain, 'Please bring me my wine' He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine' And still those voices are calling from far away, Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say... Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place Such a lovely face They livin' it up at the Hotel California What a nice surprise, bring your alibis Mirrors on the ceiling, The pink champagne on ice And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device' And in the master's chambers, They gathered for the feast The stab it with their steely knives, But they just can't kill the beast Last thing I remember, I was Running for the door I had to find the passage back To the place I was before 'Relax,' said the night man, We are programmed to receive. You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave! Donkey Punch A Hoe

"Thug Love" [01 Jul 2005|01:09pm] [ mood | chipper ] SOOOOO SWEEETTT... I have been feeling better the last few days... Been staying at Brads house and i helped him and Matt move out... It was kindda sad im gonna miss the apartment like crazy... so many goodtimes and memories... Dilldoos, bottle caps, showers, cooking dinner, tweeker bashing, 4 o clock in the morning craziness, used condoms pinned to the bullitin board, jacuzzi vomitting, creek surfing... hahahaha... Adam tried to screw me it was funny but i didnt go for it... Brad tried to get me to hook up with Matt it was even funnier when Matt was trying to get sexy... DIDNT GO FOR IT... Im on a leave of sex... at least for a while... Visited Dusty at work on tuesday i brought him some of his stuff from the appartment he left... Its hard to stay mad at him when i see him he said the same about me... so i bring him cigarettes and slurpee and we kiss and get cutsie... then i leave feeling refreshed and not so shitty for what i did but at the same time i feel pissed becasue i still kindda like him and its ridiculos becasue why am i still gonna like a guy who completely lied to me about so much, i hated being the crazy girlfriend trying to figure out all his lies... But i forgave him everytime... AND THATS NOT AT ALL LIKE ME TO DO... ok im done talknig about that... Work is boring, im getting two new jobs... im not sure if i have them yet though... But im pretty positive im gonna get them and that would be so sweet... Rolling in the money... Me and jessica are gonna go look at these appartments on Vermont street to move into... I guess theyre pretty nice and cheap... IM gonna be in East county this weekend... I miss you Steff and want to see you ASAP... Call me Donkey Punch A Hoe

"You Know Me All Too Well..." [28 Jun 2005|02:02pm] [ mood | Pondering ] Sometimes you wish you could turn back the clock right? Everyone feels like that at one time or another... But I've never really felt like that my entire life... I have always held pride in not regretting anything i have ever done in my life or any fucked up shit that has happend to me... But right now at this exact moment i have so many regrets just about the last few weeks... my emotions are a reck just when i thought i had everything together and i was so sure of myself... When will i ever jsut get a rest and be able to be happy? Dusty justed called me and told me hes leaving back to the Military on tuesday... God knows when the next time i will see him is... Im so pissed off at him for everything hes put me through but at the same time... Im not ill miss him alot he taught me alot, gave me fun memories, and goodtimes... and made me feel beautiful and confident about myself... Maybe in another time in our life? Maybe who knows... Time will only tell my future because right now its all fucked up, and i can barely see one... i need to pick the rest of my shit up from my dads today... :( Going to pick up Bradley from the airport tongiht, hes been having way to much fun in Colorado... And this is why im moving with Brad to Colarado... Brads the one on the left in the green jacket... Its so beautiful i cant wait to paraglide those mountians... YAY something to look forward too... 1 Broken Jaw| Donkey Punch A Hoe

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